


This Time

by lyricalaphasia



Category: Star Wars Legends: Knights of the Old Republic
Genre: F/M, these characters are from a 13 year old video game and i'm still upset about them
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-09-18
Updated: 2016-09-18
Packaged: 2018-08-15 16:24:50
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 578
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/8063527
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/lyricalaphasia/pseuds/lyricalaphasia
Summary: There were many things Carth Onasi did not know.





	

There were many things Carth Onasi did not know.

He did not know that his most trusted teacher would destroy his homeworld, his life. He didn't know that he would have to cradle his wife in his arms as she bled to death from the inside, helpless to soothe the burns covering her arms and legs. As he swore a tearful revenge over her body, he didn't know that his son was already lost to him, being pulled further into the darkness that had just claimed the most important woman in either of their lives. Even if he had known, Carth never expected that the next time he saw his son, he would be fully dressed in the uniform of the Sith.

After the bombing, Carth thought he knew more, and thought that nothing could ever faze him. But he did not know that he would meet a woman, and that the woman would blaze like high noon in his life, outshining all the nightmares of his past that ran through his head, skipping and looping like a faulty holovid.

Of course, he did not know she would turn out to be the villain of his story. Nor did he know that he could forgive her for it. This revelation was, he thought, the best of all: that he was stronger than he thought, that he had moved so much further forward than he ever dreamed he could, that he had begun to heal. And, of course, that he was in love with a woman who loved him back. He did know how good that felt, but it had been a long while.

They traveled the galaxy, and they saved it, and Carth Onasi knew more, so much more, and he was ready to rest with her, to sail the skies on slow-moving cruisers and go back home to their shining apartment on Coruscant to relax, or to their cottage on Telos—just as soon as Telos had an atmosphere again.

But there was more than the galaxy, more that Carth Onasi did not know. He could not know, she would scream when dark thoughts raced through her head, flooding her mind with the memories that a part of him selfishly wished had gone forever. He could not know, and he would never understand.

It wasn't that he didn't try. He did research, calling in every favor he had to hunt down records he was never supposed to see, anything that might give him a clue to what it was that Revan knew. He even made the ultimate sacrifice: he asked Canderous for help.

"She and I weren't on the same side at the time," he grunted, "in case you forgot."

It was an answer that stung even more when they left together, stealing away in the _Hawk_ while Carth slept. He had known that she would leave, somewhere deep down, but not that she would take a mutual friend. He wondered if Canderous had known more than he let on, but it didn't matter now.

All Carth knew was that he was stronger now, wiser. Carth knew death and hopelessness, and this was neither. This was not an ending, staining his hands and dragging him to his knees. What he did not know, he decided, would drive him instead.

There were many things Carth Onasi did not know, somewhere beyond the edge of space, behind clouds of Sith poison. This time, he would be ready for them.

 


End file.
